ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

To Blackanese,
Just because you've been living in Japan for (only) a year and a half and have a japanese GF how do you qualify to speak for japanese culture? I'm a japanese woman born in Japan been living in the US for 19 years, and theres's no way that I could, or would ever try to speak for black americans culture! True, some japanese don't care for americans be they black or white it simply is becasue they're considered "outsiders". And, I disagree with you when you make those foolish claims that "asians" are in general as you say prejudice. However, some are, but no more or less than some black people here in america. Do you deny that some black people are in fact prejudice? You sound like you are when you accuse others of being racist in your posted comments, and then you stated some other mindless remark about the "almighty white man". Sounded pretty prejudice to this reader. You sound really angry when you have to hear the truth about some of your people's behavior, as would most people I do believe. But, then you proceed to attack others when they don't agree with your point of view. I could say that you also could be a "tad" prejudice yourself, but what would that solve? As for the image issue, sad to say but it's there for all to see. I see it, you perhaps see it also but refuse to come to terms with it. I don't date black men I have no problem saying that, but it's again directly because of that image problem, but maybe if things were different maybe I'd consider that possibility....maybye.
Am I judging you if I desire not to date you? I have family, friends, colleuges and associates that I must consider as it applies to the kind of man that I select to be seen with socially. I simply for better, not worse don't care to be seen with a black man (or any man period) that can't speak well, dress properly, have good social skills, has a good education or doesn't have a job. Sorry, nothing personal. I know there are exceptional black men out there, one of my friend's dates a black man, he's just a great guy! And while dining out with them I've heard black females making sharp negative comments about him simply because of the way in which he speaks. Actualy he's quite articulate, and doesn't give you all of that "you know" commentary. But, he's truly a minority within a minority. So, my take on this image issue is that it's really an issue that only men can resolve, but still nevertheless ....it's there for all to see. If you don't care to listen to other people's views on that subject...then take the proper steps to change it.
Good luck.
Claire    Monday, July 29, 2002 at 10:22:53 (PDT)
It's good to see that more people are expressing their views now. It's easy to see that several people have had some negative experiences in the past and I hope that they won't transfer their feelings for that one person to everyone else of that race that they happen to meet from now on.

Unfortunately it's true that black men have a reputation for treating their women poorly, but in many instances so do men of every race (if you believe what you see in books, on television and in films.) It's not hard at all to find negative treatment of people by other people. But everyone is not like that and I hope that you all won't forget that.

I myself am far from perfect, but because I was mistreated when I was young (and I know how terrible it feels) I try to treat everyone I encounter in the way I want to be treated, with dignity and respect. I grew up not having much money so I work hard for what I have and I spend it wisely. I have no problems with sharing with my family and friends and giving to charity because I know what it's like to go without.

A lot of us (of all races) don't know as much as we should about our heritage. I am still learning new things about my people every day. I have many books about African and African-American history, as well as Chinese and Japanese history. I honestly read books on nearly every subject and I keep a lot of books in boxes, because I no longer have room on the shelves.

I'm sorry for rambling. I just want to say that I am encouraged that we all are starting to have more dialog and I hope this will continue. I also hope that we all will continue to be open-minded and patient with each other.

It's true when people say "don't judge a book by it's cover". I just picked up some books for class today and one of them (a used book) looked very nice on the outside but was all marked up when I opened it. I'm glad I remembered to look first.

My last comment for today is this: I'm no longer worried about finding someone to love. I feel I want to be with an Asian woman and if that is meant for me to have (and since there are about 6 billion people on the planet) I believe my odds are very good for us to one day find each other.

Take care everyone.
Thaihorse    Monday, July 29, 2002 at 09:41:51 (PDT)
I was at the mall last night, and I saw an older couple, probably in their mid-40's. Black man, and Asian woman(I wanna say what nationality she was exactly, and usually I can tell, but damn it, they were walking so fast I didn't get a good look...oh, well). Something like that is news because I rarely see black/Asian couples around here, sans myself and my ex-gf when we were going out. Kinda makes me feel good to see it's not such a rare thing after all.
T.B.    Monday, July 29, 2002 at 06:24:22 (PDT)
Blackanese,
I'm a little confused here, because I just completed reading both Yomuri's comments and your response. Frankly, it appears that you selected portions from her comments and simply blew them out of porportion ...so it seems to me. Briefly, she stated that she didn't date either black or white men, but if she had to make a "choice" that she'd perfer to date a white man over that of a black one. Well, that's just her choice, not yours. Then she went on to say, and I hope that I'm quoting her correctly to say that her rationale for that decision was due to the negative image that (most not all) black men have. Sorry, but I didn't recall her saying that they (the black men) were bad people. Perhaps, they're not bad individuals, but I do think her focus was that of the "image problem" not their character. You indicated that you have a japanes girlfriend and I hope that you're happy as a couple, but let's be honest here for just a minuet if we may. Do you think that you'd have that Japanese girlfriend if when you first met her your pants were hanging down exposing your ass? I think not! Why? Again, because of image, that's why! Okay, so you don't fit those negativite stereotypic images, and believe me I'm happy to hear that, but unfortunately whether you agree or disagree there are a whole lot of brothers out there that do in fact promote that negative image. And, that too is their "personal choice", just like it's her personal choice not to date a black man, or any other man that presents a negative image to her. She never said in her post that she was an expert on black culture, well at least I didn't read that. She did say however that she has both female and males friends that are black, and that they too concur with that negative image again (that most not all) black men project. And by the way also they too didn't care for that sort of negative social behavior on the part of black men. Hence, I really don't think that she's being any more "judgemental" in her post anymore than you are. Actually, as I rethink this point maybe you're being somewhat more judgemental by calling her and asians racists, as you put it (am I'm quoting here) " but I "hate" the fact that "asian people" are so racist to blacks" and (I'm quoting again) "that you are a tad bit prejudice or "racist" because you are scared ot the so called scary black man image" enquote. Now, tell me who sounds like the real racist here? She doesn't have to judge you sir, you've already done that here with you own writings for all to see.
Just for the record there are just as many black racists in this world as there are white, but usually the one that plays the "race card" first is the one that worries me.
Ted    Monday, July 29, 2002 at 02:47:00 (PDT)
You know what Miss Kamiyama everything in your post was okay except for your bashing of black men. Because you had a few relationships with Black men you think all are the same huh? And how dare you tell me that most blacks don't know about our history. I think you don't know what you are talking about so learn your facts first. We know exactly just about everything about our history from Africa to slavery to the civil rights movement and modern day society. It appears that it's you Japanese that don't know about your history in Japan. i live in Tokyo and the Japanese here so eagerly want to be so American (Caucasian that is.) That when you talk to them about there own history they don't even know it and are surprised that you know about it han them. So please don't sterotype because for evrything negative you have said or will say about blacks there are at least ten negative things we can say about your people.
blackanese    Monday, July 29, 2002 at 00:05:05 (PDT)

NEWEST COMMENTS | EARLIER COMMENTS