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POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN FEMALE/ CAUCASIAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:32:12 PM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Asian woman:
"Typical. If you watch the elimidate show, if the white guy selects an Asian female, white females who lost out generally would call her a slut and a whore, but would not comment on the white guy himself. Feeling of entitlement is clearly brought out."
I have noticed that sometimes on Elimadate, Dismissed and other shows of that sort. WTF is up with those girls behaving this way anyhoo? Is that really called for? Give be a freaking break.
Sorry folks, but just because you are of a certain ethnicity doesn't mean you are "entitled" to someone of the opposite sex of your same ethnicity. I hate to burst your bubble, but if a reasonably progressive-thinking, fit and attractive White Man has a choice between askin out an angry, bitter, overweight, petty White woman or a fit, intelligent, warm, kind, strong-minded Asian woman, who do you think he would choose? If you said the Asian woman with the better personality and physical attributes you are correct!
Men and women who feel this sense of entitlement to "one of their own" need to get over it and GET OVER THEMSELVES!!!
Hank Lewis
Friday, October 18, 2002 at 12:30:01 (PDT)
[161.159.4.21]
"When I've confronted them about their snide remarks, some of them made remarks to the effect that they are "entitled" to White men and that any White man, regardless of attractiveness, has a "duty" to go with any White woman, regardless of attractiveness, before going out with an Asian or some other ethnicity of woman."
Perhaps the majority of the white American women think this way, good looking or not. The "duty" implies maintaining "white racial purity." There are many in the Asian community who feel this way as well. So it is nothing new.
"I'm sure there are other women who feel the same way but are more like your East Coast counterparts who keep it to themselves to "be polite.""
Yes they are "very polite."
Cindy:
"I think some of my boyfriend's white female friends feel the same way. And because they're on the east coast, they won't say it to your face but there's plenty of whispers in the back. My boyfriend says he'll deal with it when they have the nerve to say it to his face. But their racism is very subtle. They would be sweet as candy to him and exclude me from the conversation. What's worse is his ex-girlfriend (white) is part of his group of old friends. I'm sure they have a ball trashing me when he's not around."
Typical. If you watch the elimidate show, if the white guy selects an Asian female, white females who lost out generally would call her a slut and a whore, but would not comment on the white guy himself. Feeling of entitlement is clearly brought out.
"It's a little disappointment that his attitude is like that. I'm not saying pick a fight with all his friends, but I have the feeling he won't defend me when they talk trash about me either. What's ironic is that he jumps up and down and have fights with me whenever I mention anything negative about his friends or his ex-es. Sometime I wonder if I should even stay with him. But I can't fault him for something that hadn't happen yet. When they start talking s*** about me and he does nothing. That's the day I'm walking."
From what you say, he does not consider you a marriage material. Have you met his family? What do they think? Especially his mother or sister? May be you need to walk now.
Asian Woman
Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 15:16:59 (PDT)
[138.220.134.31]
Asian Woman:
As you probably know, I live in Houston. Asians are generally accepted by most people as coworkers, neighbors and business owners--especially on the West and Southwest sides of our Metro area where they are concentrated. However, there have been some incidents in South Houston and Sunnyside involving Asian convenience store owners and the local African American and Latin population that seem right out of a John Singleton movie.
The last major racial incident which gave Asian Americans some grief here involved a lawsuit filed by a group of 20-something Asian American professionals back in the early 1990s. They filed suit against the Middle-eastern ownership of The Roxy (and his other night clubs) because he and his door guys were not letting Asian Americans into the club unless they were coming in with "attractive" White or Black customers--subject to the tastes of the door guy or the ownership. The owner had sold the club to another owner prior to the lawsuit, but he still ended up having to pay $50,000 in damages to each of the 25 plaintiffs, plus court costs.
Stuff like this is disgusting, but it is more often the exception rather than the rule here in Houston. However, if we were talking about the DFW area, this would be a lot more common.
As for the remarks made by those White women--as I said, it has NOT been that often, but it has happened more than once in the past several years. One thing I have noticed about these White women who say this is that usually they are not all that attractive, in my opinion. When I've confronted them about their snide remarks, some of them made remarks to the effect that they are "entitled" to White men and that any White man, regardless of attractiveness, has a "duty" to go with any White woman, regardless of attractiveness, before going out with an Asian or some other ethnicity of woman. I told those women they were full of crap and that anyone is free to date anyone they choose who also wants to date them. I'm sure there are other women who feel the same way but are more like your East Coast counterparts who keep it to themselves to "be polite." However, most people I have been around (White or otherwise) here in Houston have a live and let live attitude.
Hank Lewis
Wednesday, October 16, 2002 at 06:18:02 (PDT)
[161.159.4.20]
I think some of my boyfriend's white female friends feel the same way. And because they're on the east coast, they won't say it to your face but there's plenty of whispers in the back. My boyfriend says he'll deal with it when they have the nerve to say it to his face. But their racism is very subtle. They would be sweet as candy to him and exclude me from the conversation. What's worse is his ex-girlfriend (white) is part of his group of old friends. I'm sure they have a ball trashing me when he's not around.
It's a little disappointment that his attitude is like that. I'm not saying pick a fight with all his friends, but I have the feeling he won't defend me when they talk trash about me either. What's ironic is that he jumps up and down and have fights with me whenever I mention anything negative about his friends or his ex-es. Sometime I wonder if I should even stay with him. But I can't fault him for something that hadn't happen yet. When they start talking s*** about me and he does nothing. That's the day I'm walking.
Cindy
Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 13:32:47 (PDT)
[209.48.201.27]
To Baffled and Jorg,
thanks for your comments :)
TO Maxdacat,
email me! As for your comment "I think most WM's in Australia are on the lookout for a busty blonde so someone who is cute, petite with lustrous black hair" I think you have hit the mark.
I think it has something to do with me living close to the beach(es) and being surrounded by 'surfie' people. erk. IE uneducated Australians who are obsessed with sport and getting a tan.
As for myself I have dark hair and eyes and fair skin (Chinese origins) so that is the total opposite of what is considered 'attractive' around here.
You are right about the education thing though - it is usually the more educated white males which fancy AFs instead of the beer guzzling sports obsessed uneducated males.
About a year ago I wrote to a Sydney modelling agency (which I found on the web) asking them why they didn't have any 'ethnic' looking people on their books. Their pathetic response was
"The modeling industry certainly is a challenging one and a field where you need the right look, personality, and attitude. Every agency is different in their focus and has different methods of business. Our agency is focused on the Northern Beachy Look hence why most of our models have a beachy look
about them. "
What exactly is a "beachy" look anyway? Skin-cancer freckly moley skin and peroxide hair?
Sorry to get off the topic, but if John Howard or any Australian of 'power' claims that Australia is multicultural , they are sadly mistaken.
Especially in the media, non "beachy looking people" are sadly underrepresented.
BigSister(not Big Brother eyetalic@hotmail.com
Monday, October 14, 2002 at 21:57:11 (PDT)
[63.34.224.65]
'At the other end of the sprectrum are guys who have good education, good jobs and a good head on their shoulders and aspire to the finer things in life, an asian gf being one of them'
dude quit raising my hopes!!! comeon now do these ppl really exist??-cos i want one! hmPh. y'knw a girl can only fall for pahtetic-chauvinistic- misogynists who know no limit to freakism only so many times.
nina
Monday, October 14, 2002 at 13:08:18 (PDT)
[195.8.79.153]
"It's a little strange that the Indian-white relationships are not accepted. Almost every Indian girl I know only date white men."
True. However, darker skinned Indian women, especially Tamils get only black men. It depends on skin complexion.
"By the way, I didn't catch that particular episode (I don't watch TV much). Could someone tell me what happened?"
The Indian woman walked out, saying that she did not have much of a chance and would not be accepted by his family. Good decision. She was actually too dark for many white people as is evident from the e-mails I saw on the Message board. Many thought she was black until the day she walked out.
"From the Indian girls I've encountered, they've always pride themselves being of Caucasian race. They've told me countless times that they're white, not asian."
Ask your boyfriend whether he considers Indians to be Caucasian. Would let the whites be the judge here. Self hate as far as I am concerned. Would a guy like Todd ever consider an Indian woman to be white? I doubt it. If he wants a white woman, he would go to a real white woman.
"In fact what I found ironic was that Indian girls would move in on my boyfriend as soon as they found out that he's dating an East Asian."
They consider you not white, but consider themselves white. Not very different from the attitude of many white American women.
From the Sub-Continent
Monday, October 14, 2002 at 11:28:48 (PDT)
[138.220.21.180]
"That doesn't mean that they are "accepted" by all Whites by any stretch of the imagnination by far. It's just a RELATIVE level of acceptance."
AW/WM couples are accepted by a significant minority of the whites, but not the majority. It depends on where you live. Usually, it is correlated to whether your congressman is anti-immigrant or not. If your congressman is anti-immigrant, such as Virgil Goode, it usually means he believes that Asians are perpetual foreigners and do not belong in this country. Virginia's fifth district is majority bigots who really believe that Asians do not belong in this country and that we need to close the borders and some even believe that Asian looking folks should be sent to Hawaii or even better, back to Asia. On the other hand, there are even parts of Texas where Asians would be accepted. But, then Texas of today is much different from what it was twenty years ago. Due to demographic changes and much more accepting.
"I have heard some stupid comments made by White WOMEN to the effect that "At least he didn't get with a Black woman" and stupid garbage like that not addressed directly to me, but said in a fashion so that I hear it."
You live in Texas...so they are more overt. Here in the east coast, many white women feel the same way, but they wont say it aloud publicly. I heard something similar about someone else from two white Delta Airline stewardesses back in 1996 on a flight from Portland to Dallas Fort Worth.
"The truth of the matter is that going into a transethnic relationship brings some of this stuff on all sides--both Asian and White, as well as some of the other ethnicities. Some of it is stuff you ignore, some of it is stuff you have to respond to with humor, some of it is stuff you have to respond to with a vengeance--just choose your battles carefully."
Agreed.
Asian Woman
Monday, October 14, 2002 at 11:21:51 (PDT)
[138.220.21.180]
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