Asian Male/Black Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to African American females?
Their facial features | 36%
Their physique | 36%
Their attitude and personality | 27%
Their education & cultural values | 1%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with African American females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 2%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 7%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 67%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 24%

Assuming you are an African American female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 77%
Their physique | 4%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 4%

Assuming you are an African American female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 78%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 13%

This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

to CASwtE:

Regarding intimadated. It must be true. Last night I'm in the store with my daughter shopping. I noticed this handsome Asian guy, and also noticed that he was married, by the ring on his finger. So, as I went my merry way. I noticed that every aisle I turned down there he was. At first I'm thinking well damn, he must need the same things I do. But by the third aisle I began to notice that he wasn't picking up anything. And when we passed each other he would smile. Well my 6yr daughter asked him in mandarin if he was lost. This surprised me because she very seldom speaks it. And it surprised the hell out of him. To say the least, he wanted to know how she knew mandarin. Anyway, a few moments later this white woman all red in the face approached him, glared at me and said, "I've been looking all over this store for you." snatched the cart away and walked off. He looked at me, smiled and said, "Well, I guess I'll hear about this. She's very insecure."
blkaznlady Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 10:35:10 (PST)

I need to know,

I am a Korean American guy. I'm 5'8" and 155 pounds, but exactly the spitting image of Adonis, but I can hold my own, rest assured. I am very protective of my women, and I can protect them because I used to fight a lot as a young guy, and I was good at it. Although my physique doesnt exactly stand out, I have other redeeming qualities. I have an Ivy League degree, have good facial bone structure (that means I'm handsome, stupid =P j/k...), and am outgoing.... in short, have no shortage of dates. Up until now, I've only dated white and Asian girls (both know that I'm in high demand, so I'm rarely without dates when I want them), but recently I 've met a half white American and half Ethiopian girl. Simply put, she blew my socks off. I am falling for her, and she likes me very much too. I will see where this takes me, but I look forward to seeing her every day. My eyes have been opened.
Smitten Korean Guy Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 09:49:51 (PST)

I don't know if many Black women know the power they carry around with them. Yes, to some people it is intimidating, to some attractive , to others, it's down right hypnotic. It is definitely something about their presence. White women tend to be intimidated by Black women, as I have seen, because of their prowess. The Black woman is obviously the more dominant(having nothing to do with submissive/dominant issues) female, culturally speaking, yet white females would like to downplay this, hence this opinion the world seems to have with white women being the most wanted women on the planet. *ok*

I was never intimidated by Black women but I have felt "little" in the beginings, you know, when I first meet a female. You're like out on a date with a fine foxy beautiful girl, and both of you are digging one another. She's talking at the table and you look over at her like, " Whoa, this girl is mega-gorgeous, intelligent, funny and why does she like me? "
( this is what goes on in our heads ladies. really ) I'm a good-looking guy, average height, nice facial features, has some brains, funny YET in the back of my mind, I'm just some geeky guy that the media has portrayed as an asexual, bland, powerless creature. I can definitely speak for SOME of my asian brothers, I know this. This is the kinda sh1t that does our heads in. Coupled with the fact that we can be extremely shy. Like, alot. Let me say that again. We can tend to be hella shy. Yet, there are always the exceptions. So, if we don't step to you, please step to us. Many of us don't know what to say to you without looking totally idiotic.

Brothers, am I right. Back me up here.
Racer X Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 00:32:08 (PST)

GirlX,
Hell yeah I'm hitting on you IF you live the bay! I KNEW you lived in northern cal. Alot many Asian boyfriends you've had..... I'm sure they were wayyyy lucky guys, at the time. Did you break their little hearts? Or did they break yours, sweet thing?

I live in the city. Russian Hill to be exact. ( the GEARY bus sucks ) I'm staying home these days, off the streets, out of clubs, licking my wounds. Oh yeah, breaking up sucks. Old girl stabbed me in the throat tho. I should be happy it's over with. Whoa....that's alot of info I just let out. Maybe I should erase it. Maybe not. It's ok, I'm cool.
*smile*
Racer X Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 23:55:51 (PST)

If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

I've been fortunate to have been with several fine Black Ladies who took the initiative and macked to me. I met a sexy thang at a club one night and we rapped and I don't know exactly what I said but my mojo, I mean charm was working hella cool, and she was all sprung on me. She said that my demeanor was very genuine and sweet. I just told her that the best game anybody can have is being honest.

Ladies, if you want an AM, just take the first step. It's not that AM are intimidated by BF, rather its that AM are used to not being wanted, even by AF. AM nature is to be nice, you can tell, and I promise 99.9% of the time the AM will give you some love.

Fellas, there are a lot of interested BF, so let's get it together, be yourself, and treat the ladies as they should be, with respect and apprecitation.

The greatest risk in life is not taking one.

Oh yeah, there are people at this post that are long in the tooth, I'm glad I don't have to listen to a lot of the static. Speak on it, but c'mon.

Foine AznM Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 23:14:57 (PST)

Asian Sensation,

You're cool! I'm all for racial/cultural mixing too, especially when everyone is proud of their own culture -- you know, like kimchee and collard greens. It makes the world a more interesting place.

But I have a question for the Asian guys out there, or maybe for some of the sistas who are also with a "Golden Prince."

I've been dating a Chinese (well, Taiwanese) guy for the past eight months and it's been the most deliciously warm and loving relationship I've ever had. Seriously. I've got his back, he's got mine and it's all good.

But just last week, his mother showed up from Taiwan. Just flew in and decided to hang out for a month. Or two.

The thing is, my guy and his mom really don't see eye to eye on much. Like his career choices, his leisure activities, or how upset she was that he's dating some little dark-skinned black chick with dreadlocks snaking down her back. I was totally expecting to spend the next month just hiding out with him, avoiding her and not adding to the drama.

But now she wants to meet me!

I totally didn't see it coming at all. She looked at his pictures of me, told him she thought I was pretty, sent some pineapple cakes to my house and told him we're all going to have supper together.

Now what? Should I bring some food to her house? Should I learn some pertinent phrases in Mandarin (her english is limited)? Does anyone have any suggestions on how I should deal with a traditional you-are-SO-not-good-enough-for-my-son Asian mama?

Peace and love for all...

SistaMoonKitty Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 20:35:14 (PST)

Tiger,

You asked about our thoughts on "dating asian men versus white men since there is no past history of slavery?"

The issue of black/white interracial dating can be a difficult one for some black women. Even though we are more than several generations removed from the horrors of slavery, the concept of white men forcing themselves on black women, seperating our familes, stifling our men, is still somewhat difficult and painful.

Though I treat all people I meet fairly and with respect, including white men, the truth is that the knowledge of just how destructive and painful the black/white experience has been makes me a little uncomfortable about "intimacy" with white men.

It is unfortunate to feel this way, and possibly unhealthy, but it is a reality at times. Unfortunately, whenever a white guy is attracted to me, even if I feel he is a decent guy, I find myself pulling back(unfairly), unwilling to become emotionally involved with someone who in another lifetime may have seen me with different eyes and treated me and my family very badly. In addition, most black women do truly love, admire and respect black men. We want to see them successful, proud, and forceful in their dealings with other peoples, especially white men. Dating a white man, in the past, seemed to undermine this concept. I should add, this appears to be slowly changing.

There is no such history between blacks and asians, in fact there is not much history or familiarity between us at all. While this may work in your favor, when compared to white men, it is still your personality and your treatment of the black woman you're interested in which determines whether you are dating material.

Would a black female want you to be direct in expressing your interest in her? Yes, I think so. As long as you are honest, interested and respectful(not crude), that is what I think any woman would prefer. Do not think, however, that black women are more apt than others to make passes at you or any other man. It is not true as a rule and will vary depending on the individual. It is not a part of our culture. If you are interested, consider it an honor and a worthy goal to let her know.

Good luck.
Another Black Voice Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 20:26:45 (PST)

i need to know,

I find many black women in the media attractive but, unfortunately, most black women I've encountered in real life don't seem to be a good match. I'll admit, I live in area where almost all the black people are very poor and don't mix much with other races. The cultural differences are just too much I think. The few black girls I've considered dating always hung out in white crowds, as I often do. It's sad that minorities can't get together on their own, but that's the way it is at the moment.
Philly Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 19:03:59 (PST)

There's too many other things in the world for people to be worried about instead of the race of someone that they're attracted too.
civic girlie Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 17:46:59 (PST)

CASwtE,

What did you say to the asian guy in response to what he said? Did he say anything more? Did you guys talk about anything more?
Curiouz Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 14:10:32 (PST)

CASwtE,

Hey girl, thats cool that an Asian guy noticed you. Was he fine as hell??
Aggie gal Tuesday, January 15, 2002 at 12:17:01 (PST)

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