Asian Male/Black Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to African American females?
Their facial features | 36%
Their physique | 36%
Their attitude and personality | 27%
Their education & cultural values | 1%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with African American females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 2%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 7%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 67%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 24%

Assuming you are an African American female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 77%
Their physique | 4%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 4%

Assuming you are an African American female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 78%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 13%

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Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

While perhaps some overly shy guys who are looking for a girly girl may well be intimidated by a strong-minded, opinionated black women, overall, I find their strength to be very alluring. In addition, I've found that black women, like most other people, will warm up to you with a little humor and charm.

It helps that they're really cute...

Did anybody see the fifth wheel last night? There was a really cute black girl on it last night... I love watching black women on the dating shows because instead of trying to have the man entertain them, they're usually very expressive and candid with their opinions oooh and that dark skin...ahh
XingDa Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 10:55:16 (PST)

Racer X,
When I first started dating my Chinese boyfriend, my girlfriends couldn't believe it. They thought of all the reasons he wanted to be with me. And how he couldn't possiblely satisfy me sexually. But after they saw that it was much more than a sexual thing, they wanted to know how they could "hook-up" with one. I told them that sometimes you have to step outside what is familar and into the un-familar. I could see a big question mark on their faces. Just stop waiting for them to come up to you. You walk up to them and start the ball rolling.

That's been 3years ago. So far two of my girlfriends are dating you beautiful Asian men.

blkaznlady Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 09:32:28 (PST)

lol

smitten korean guy is getting a little taste of chocolate that melts in his mouth and not on his hands
keep those eyes open baby! Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 07:53:04 (PST)

Back you Up? Racer X your ass is on your own. I'm not shy.
Dirkdiggler Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 07:50:59 (PST)

Philly I know where you're talking from dude. I drool over the black ladies that I see on TV. Vanessa Williams have the sexier lips on any woman and her eyes are so pretty too. Lisa Bonet have the dreamiest bedroom eyes, so I watch "Cosby" reruns just to look at her. Damn! Halle Berry has the roundest ass. Alicia Keyes has the cutest little nose that turns up when she smiles. Lisa Raye the hot honie from the movie the Players Club is too fine. Beyonce is going to be my future wife along with all those other music video honies. I'll die with a smile on my face in a harem like that. It's all a fantasy though because the black ladies that I see and meet in the real world won't be a good match for me either because they don't have what I want. They're too rough looking around the edges. I'm still hoping though.
Peter Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 07:38:08 (PST)

Smitten Korean,
Ethiopians are, no question about it, the most beautiful race on this earth. Though she's mixed with White, I assume she's still very beautiful, but they don't need the blood of any other race to make them more beautiful; if anything, they are the ones who improve the other race. They already come in all kinds of different shades; some have hazel eyes, some brown eyes... those eyes, those eyes! anyway, some have straight hair, some very curly hair; they just run the gambit. I have never seen a mixed Asian/Ethiopian. That would certainly be interesting. But the features are so very different from each other. I wonder how the kid would look.

Bottom line, you should go for her. I'm sure she will be a beauty you will never forget, no matter who else you go on to date later in life.
Can't beat Ethiopians Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 07:37:45 (PST)

"There's too many other things in the world for people to be worried about instead of the race of someone that they're attracted too."

well if that was true, civic girlie, then why are YOU here at the BLACK and ASIAN poll?
she's dumb Thursday, January 17, 2002 at 07:21:27 (PST)

sistamoonkitty-

i was visiting another forum and a woman had the same question as you. her fiance/boyfriend is taking her to meet the big bad asian momma! :) so here's an except of the advice a woman married to an asian man gave her.

anyways, hope this helps a bit:

"Well I think he must have some idea as to what he's getting into. And I'm sure if he plans to introduce you to the family they know about you and have welcomed you, else they would just say "don't bring her here". As far as him losing face, well just do you best to make sure that doesn't happen. You are a woman, potentially entering an Asian family, the standards are high and the son is considered to be bringing you IN, as opposed to a daughter say leaving. So do you best and be on your VERY best behaviour and make a great impression. You want to win the mother over, the father should be easier, you can just work your feminine charms on him. But the mother will be watching you like a hawk, even if she seems to not be paying attention. And if she has reservations, she will use anything at her disposal to discredit you as a woman and as a potential partner for her son. To to save all the long-windedness, you've got to kiss her ass, straight up. Like I said, wash those dishes, and I mean FIGHT to wash those dishes, don't just half assed, ask...help serve the dinner, always the elders first, if the grandparents are there, the grandfather first...in fact when you enter the home always make sure to say hello and show respect to the eldest people first and work your way down. Help to clean up after dinner, eat up, not too much to seem as if you'll get fat but not so little to seem like you're vain and on a diet. Eat everything, no matter what is put in front of you, at least try it, you don't have to like it and be honest if you don't but give it a go."
help hints Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 21:28:32 (PST)

Racer X,

I really love what you just said about the power of a Black woman. You really do speak the truth. Sometimes I wonder if some of the more negative women on this board ever just stop and think about how amazing they are, whether they're dark skinned or light, with long hair or short, round or skinny, with a man or without. And not how they're better than anyone else, just how amazing we all are... How god made each one of us on special order. I honestly think that's how love happens -- one special person being amazed by another special person.

I have to admit that for years I actually bought into the bland asexual Asian guy myth -- I thought they were great for tech talk and maybe even whining about my doomed relationships with black, white and latino guys. It wasn't until a very special Korean guy really stepped to me that I realized how blind I was. This guy slowly drew me into his world and eventually, when he showed me how much passion could exist behind a calm asian poker-face I was totally blown away. This Korean guy feels this way about me? A little black girl with dreads?

Although he and I never actually hooked up (I had a boyfriend at the time and I don't cheat), I never looked at Asian men the same way again. They are men with a capital M!

Peace and love for all...
SistaMoonKitty Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 19:41:48 (PST)

SistaMoonKitty,

Just be the wonderful person that you are and be respectful. I'm sure you will do fine but I understand the nervousness you feel. No need to put on a false persona for the sake of getting her to like you.
PB Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 19:35:53 (PST)

SisterMK

I think that you have perhaps second-guessed your potential mother-in-law (let's call her that, shall we!) to the limit. Give her a chance. I used to do that to my own mother until one day I was shocked when she VERBALIZED her true beliefs and dispositions. Obviously, you are already surprised by her actions. Perhaps she will surprise you a lot more by how well you two may/will get along with each other. For all you know, she may turn out to be a great friend and as wonderful an ally as your honey is to you. If you must judge, at least give her the chance to have something that you can judge her on. If you don't meet her, then I don't think that you will ever have that right/privilege.:?)
SoShy Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 17:55:33 (PST)

To: Smitten Korean Guy,

Try to hook up with the girl, I'm sure she wants to hook up with you. The 2 of sound like you could make a nice couple, give it a shot, see what happens. Good Luck!
Jas (Short for Jasmine) Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 15:52:53 (PST)

Hey Rider X,

Are you from San Francisco, Berkeley...?
Are you Chinese?

*wink, wink*

Isabella from SF Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 15:18:31 (PST)

To SistaMoonKitty: of course, I do not know all the details of his mother's reaction to his dating of you, but perhaps she has thought more deeply about your relationship and now sincerely wants to know you better, in order to make a fairer assessment. Mothers of all races tend to think that their children's choices of mates are not quite good enough initially; they have to be won over. Her reservations may have nothing to do with race. You are in a better position to judge that than me, but I am just saying that these may be possibilities. At any rate, I think you have nothing to lose and might as well find out where you stand with her after she has had a chance to know you. It would also be the fair thing for you to do - to give her a chance, since she made the request to meet you and the gesture of goodwill in sending you the cakes. Learning a few nice things to say in her native tongue would be a nice gesture and appropriate when meeting any family member of your boyfriend. Asian mothers can be a hard-sell and come across as tough, (my mom included). But I find them to be fair, honest, and open-minded and accepting of people of good character. Good Luck!
Naki Wednesday, January 16, 2002 at 13:26:33 (PST)

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