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POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I don't wanna be naive,
Tough call. I once was in a relationship where I felt I was being bulls***ed. After being together for 3 1/2 years, I experienced constant cancellations of dinner dates, him constantly having to do things with his friends and family instead of me. Yet, constantly telling me he loved me very much, but not showing how much he supposedly loved me. After several months of this behavior... I just threw in the towel and broke up with him.
After this, I regretted it and wanted him back, but he said he would have never broken up with me and decided he could never forgive me. So much for that. The relationship was over. I just had to deal with it. As time went on, I would hear stories about him being out, partying, with all kinda girls, etc. etc. he even ended having a child out of wedlock with a woman he literally hates, but now she is in his life forever.
Looking back, as painful as my decision to break up with him was, it was the right decision. Now, I'm getting married to a wonderful, loving man, who I know is going to cherish me and our relationship til the end of time. Neither of us bring any baggage to the relationship, and it feels great.
It seems you are currently feeling as I felt with my X. You have to see it something like when you are sick and you have to go through a painful operation or take some terrible tasting cold medicine, in order to get better.
You are hurting now, and the break up may hurt even worse, you are going to cry, possibly for months, and he may always have a place in your heart. But you deserve better, and you have to clear your space in order to make room for something better.
Sian
Friday, August 02, 2002 at 08:21:14 (PDT)
mynix23,
"My boyfriend once shared with me some of the things he had been told about African Americans after his family migrated here from the phillipines"
I heard the exact same thing from my boyfriend (husband now) In the first month of dating my boyfriend, he would allow me to come and visit him at work sometimes. He used to work in a healthfood store. I remember going there one time with my younger sister. We were little early, he hadn't arrived yet. He had 3 white coworkers that worked at the smoothie bar, next to where he worked. They were whispering and staring at us. I found out much later that two of them had a crush on him. They were impolite, and just staring. I ignored the weird rude stares and asked politely if Liu had arrived yet. They told me that he had to do invoices or something. So we left for a while. I came back much later alone, when the girls had left. Liu told me while we were having lunch together on his break,"Do you know what those white girls told me?" I told him,"no not really". He said,"They told me some black girls came here looking for you. You might want to be careful. Black women have known to be very very dangerous, and they might try to do something to you."
I was so pissed off. That was one of the lamest things I had ever heard of in my life! We both just sorta laughed about it. Then he said,"I couldn't believe they said that stuff. I guess they were only trying to look out for me, since I just moved here and everything." He always tries to make lemons out of lemonade. That is one of the qualities that I do love about him. We got deeper and deeper into our relationship and those girls found out. One of them tried coming to his apartment at 2am in the morning one time, with her friend. She was shocked when I answered the door. After she found out that he was dating me and we were living together, then she really tried to pursue him big time...why would he choose a "Black woman" over her right? It seemed to be her concept, unfortunately. It eventually stopped. I did not confront her. I didn't feel insecure about it at all...and I didn't feel it was my job to get in her face (although, I am not going to lie about it. it had crossed my mind a couple of times!) I simply handled it like a lady, and told him that he needed to do something about the situation. And he did. She stopped chasing.
Eventually he got another job. The coworkers he has now are asians and mexicans. They have been nothing but very sweet and kind to me. I don't think everyone buys into the dumb stereotypes. Not all white people, but ((some))...a choice few, still try perpetuating negative myths and stereotypes to asian and other cultures about african american culture.
The people that do this spreading, don't always realize that it is like a disease being spread by mouth. Because it poisons the mind into the negative thinking about a group of people. And this causes a fear for the other people to not even attempt to get to know them...when they could be a very beautiful and wonderful person...causing them to completely miss out on friendships and relationships.
(sorry for the long post!)
MrsLiu
Friday, August 02, 2002 at 05:39:56 (PDT)
Sian,
I've met 3 half black - half korean girls; two of them were really gorgeous and the other one was cute. One of them had a gorgeous body, and her face had really strong black features, but her skin was really light (pretty much white) and soft, when I first met her I thought she was half black/white. The other girl was really pretty; her face had a lot of asian features, she had asian phisyque, and her skin was light brown, she really looked hawaian or philipina. Just expect a big surprise. But I'm sure they'll look gorgeous to you no matter what.
ck
Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 23:11:33 (PDT)
I don't want to be naive about it,
Well that really sucks. I agree, it's pretty fucked up, but I think you over reacted sending him that e-mail. I think the best thing is to be honest with him and tell him about that and how it's making you feel. He'd have to be pretty immature to B.S you about this.
Don't be afraid to confront him about it, just tell him that you were surfing on the web and that when you were typing the address, the auto complete from IE gave that address, and so you checked it out.
ck
Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 23:02:02 (PDT)
Whoa Nellie,
I was upset because I don't feel it's right to post as someone else. In fact, it's very stupid. Also, I don't use the same speech pattern as the person who posted as me. Which response are you referring to? I think I posted one, and a couple to let everyone know that a few of them weren't mine. I don't think any of MY responses were blunt. Not the real ones. That's why I wanted to know which one... it was probably the troll I warned everyone about.
Cali Princess
Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 22:18:41 (PDT)
Ng,
What the heck are you talking about? I am neither naive nor do I live a sheltered life. I don't have a look out for Asian/Black couples. Your comment makes absolutely no sense and I'm so sick of people attacking OPINIONS(which everyone is entitled to) for no good reason. I can't help what I see daily. Everyone I know sees it unless they're blind. You don't know me so who are you to assume such things about my character? This forum never fails to have someone come online stirring things up and causing causes. You don't have to agree with what I say, but you also don't have to attack it. Remember it's just an opinion. Since you're on this forum I would think you'd be happy to find out that Asian/Black couples do exist and I've seen quite a few. Why are you acting all bitter? Simmer down... chill!
Still Just An OPINON! So stop tripping!
Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 22:13:50 (PDT)
Dear Guy in the south,
You say that you have been friends with this girl for 9yrs. And now you wish to take it one level higher. I feel that you should let her know how you feel. But don't rush in like a bull in a china shop. She should know that when you tell her your feeling that your are sincere about the relationship. I mean after all 9 years and you haven't made any sexual advances towards her seems proof enough that you are not trying to get in her panties.
Just keep in mind that she still has alot of emotional scars from the past. Reassure her that you are not going to change into the type of guys from her past.
Let me know if things go ok for you.
blkaznlady jking84457@aol.com
Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 18:39:36 (PDT)
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