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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Ray,
I think its terrible that she did that to you. I must say that however horrible she was, does not give you the excuse to blame all black women for her behavior. Not all of us are lying, conniving backstabbers. There are many of us who are beautiful, educated, graceful, and honest women. I have always been very genuine with my sweetheart. He in return in very genuine with me. I love him not because he is an asian man, but because he is an incredible man.
earth angel
Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 10:53:57 (PDT)
Ray,
I am really sorry what happened to you. It was really wrong for her to lie to you and play games. I think it is wrong for you to say that everyone is like this woman. Even if you have decided never to date BW again, it is still wrong to generalize people. Why? Because everytime you have a bad experience with a woman, you are going to base it on the color of her skin. Peoles behavior have nothing to do with the color of ones skin, and racial makeup. This sort of thinking is what brings about subtle prejudices. I know its hard when you have been mistreated by another person. The first thing you want to do is justify it by blaming it on skin. I have been there before. I know exactly what your going through. But dismissing it as you have done, does not clear up the real issue. The real issue is you were with a bad woman. She didn't deserve you- not simply because your asian and she was black... she didn't deserve you because you were a good man to her, and she proved herself to be a terrible woman.
To: Ray
Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 07:39:14 (PDT)
I was just being honest with him. When I first met him I did still have a boyfriend. I ended up breakin up with him. I know I did'nt mention my break up to him. It was just too painful to talk about really. I thought he would want to go into detail about my breakup. Most people do that it seems. I still don't really understand his reason for not calling. It could be that he thinks I still have a boyfriend? Maybe I need to just tell him when I go there on Saturday. He might think I am lying to him. Harsh as everyones words may have seemed...I do appreciate hearing your views. I think I had better just tell him about my breakup.
Katayone
Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 07:09:18 (PDT)
Response to Just My Opinion:
Yes, the out marriage statistics are very interesting among Asians marrying White partners. I personally do not know what the mystique is about White people. I work around many white people as well as attend school with them and I have found, in my opinion, that they are so unbelievably ordinary. Perhaps, they offer a sense of security from racism and scrutiny that the may not get if linked with an African American partner.
In any case, What I have seen of them through personal contact and the media has led me to conclude that they are not blazing with rapier intelligence, creativity, personal charm or imagination in vast numbers. Of course all I can attribute this to is with the creation of Western civilization, they have inevitably shaped our cultural, political, philosophical, etc. tastes over thousands of years and in the process demolished Native cultures across the world through various forms of coercion. Thus, no matter what their level of intelligence, physicality, etc, they will always believe, whether it is conscious or not, that they are superior, whereas, African Americans are told at every opportunity that we lack so many of these positive characteristics. Nevertheless, perhaps it is this delusion of special ness as the most desirable partners on the racial hierarchy that makes them in such demand.
Curious.
Anon
Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 06:05:34 (PDT)
this is funny to hear all these black females tell ray just because one black female that he'd met is no good, does not mean that all black women are like that. these same black women giving out this advice, are the same ones who have one bad experience with a black man, who goes around saying all black men are no good. i guess it doesn't feel good to have the shoe on the other foot.
pot calling the kettle black
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 21:09:48 (PDT)
Ray if you feel that you can't trust black females then do what you feel you must do and don't date them. You will still always be welcomed here. The black females here need to hear too why Asian men will not date them and the consequences of playing head games with men!
To: Ray
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 21:04:07 (PDT)
Thanh if your mother don't want dark grandchildren that's her preference. Your mother should stick with her preferences. Your mother should also stick with pulling her head out of her *ss. If you are a fair skin Asian man and the black female that you got pregnant is med. light then you should have no problem not having a very dark baby. So, now that you got this woman pregnant will you two get married or will you leave her to be a single mother and be an irresponsible punk? I'm sure her dark skin was good enough for you while you were getting some.
To: Thanh
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 21:01:36 (PDT)
Anon,
genetics are crazy...you never know what will happen. Just recently a WHite/Black couple had twins a produced one White Child and one Dark Black child. I am the product of a lighter Samoan woman and a very light, red haired, freckled almost Caucasion looking Black man. But I am a cocoa brown. Only my features some what throw people off. to all: colorism is bad in all cultures, just let it go. I happen to love my rainbow colored family.
Some chic
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 18:16:16 (PDT)
I think that you guys are being a tad hard on Thanh. He means no harm even if his beliefs are hurtful. If you want to blame anyone for this we really cab't blame his mom blame the stereotypes and the people responsilbe for such barbaric beauty standards. In time Thanh will learn, but right now he will just be offended and alienated by such harsh and hurtful words.
I also believe that once this child is here he or she will be embraced it is just that what have they got to go on but what they have been taught? If you hope to educate him calling him an idiot isn't the way to go about it
not so hard on Thanh
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 16:14:43 (PDT)
Hey Anon,
I agree with your post. African American women do seem to be the less favored. I remember meeting an Asian man at a dance party, and he seemed really interested. He asked me if I was Puerto Rican or Mexican. I told him no I am African American and he became suddenly disinterested. Of course, I didn't care. I felt that if he couldn't accept me for me, then it was better that he walked away the way he did. I have however met other Asian American men who were very open minded and cool.
Kristen Sevigny
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 16:08:17 (PDT)
To"not buying it"
You don't have to buy it!
This was based on my personal experiences, not yours! You, I believe make far too many assumptions, as this isn't the first black female that I have dated. But did you bother to ask that? No! I also "never" blamed "everyone" as you put (another assumption) on your part. I have dated mostly black females for more than five years now, and there always seems to be that game playing about just almost everything. Did I say in my post that all black females were bad? Again "No"! (another assumption)
As for your comment Ref: Asian men (Dogs) I would never even refer to anyone even in gest as being anything other than a human being. I know you meant no harm, but why even go there?
Name calling is so childish and immature and many time opens the door to more hatefulness. To respond to your first question about why I would even come to this site, well the last time that I checked this was "still" the "Goldsea Asian American" Asian male/Black female website. Not the BF/AM as you claim. So, I think that I have all the right to be here, and to also post my opinions.
Ray
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 14:47:55 (PDT)
I am not playing games with anyone. When I first met the guy, my boyfriend and I were together. We just broke up not too long ago. I am sorry that I forgot to mention it in my post. I have been very honest with this man. I also forgot to mention, on the time that he was saying all that stuff he was trying to hug me. I didn't think it was right to do that. Hugging when you don't really even know each other? It felt like it wasn't right. I pulled away, politely. Someone said the hug was out of guilt. I am not really sure what to believe about it. I have been very honest. I avoided the single question because I didn't want to talk about my breakup. If anyone can please give me some idea I would really really really appreciate it so much. I just don't understand. It could be a cultural barrier or a number of things.
Katayone
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 11:31:04 (PDT)
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