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ASIAMS.NET |
POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
As a small kid I went to school with some black people. I was not that attracted to the girls, only a few. There were some of them that looked very pretty. Most of them made fun of asian guys and were not interested in having us as boyfriends. They would laugh and poke fun saying stuff like: "Look at the chinese guy"-
Some guy on here said something about upbringing being very important. I agree with that. I think the black women who were from good homes \with nurturing parent figures\ with family values are the best ones. I have come a very long way from the feelings I had a long time ago.
Dustin
Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 14:04:50 (PDT)
CaliGirl
Sorry, dear but I have relatives from Trinidad, and their "roots" are directly decentant from African peoples. So, you're wrong when you're in this forum trying to tell people that black doesn't necessarily mean that they don't hail from africa. Where do you think the gene pool started? If you really knew your history (which most blacks don't) then you wouldn't be making those out landish statements. True, the female in question isn't as you say an african american, but she's still nevertheless is a person of african decent. And the reason that you have many blacks that look like as you say like hispanics, italians, whites, and many others, etc is due largely to
interbreeding over generations. Nothing personal but you need to learn your history.
CaliGirl here too!
Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 14:02:26 (PDT)
X Lee, if your boyfriend is saying that you are trying too hard there must be some sort of issue between the two of you. Maybe hes seeing something that you do not. It does seem as though you are doing your very best to be a part of his life. He also seems to really care for you very much too. Maybe you two just need to sit down and talk this through.
nice lady
Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 13:16:49 (PDT)
Anon,
In reponse to your post I have a different point of view regarding the use of African American vs Black.
I prefer the term Black, because that's what I am and I'm proud of that fact! Far too many black people (rather they want to admit it or not) are ashamed of being black...I'm not. I don't care for that terminology "African American" because most black americans know nothing, nor care to know nothihg about africa. Most look down on african people...so why proudly proclaim that you're of African descent? Makes no sense.
Pam
Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 13:04:16 (PDT)
Well XLee,
Who would want to be in a bi-racial relationship where only one race's culture is considered worthy of interest? Even though I believe this is probably how the majority of interracial relationships go, especially those that involve Whites with minorities, I do not think it's healthy.
Your boyfriend's problem with this is clear: He would prefer a woman who respects who she is, and is comfortable with who she is; and he is probably thinking he could just marry a Chinese woman if you are not going to expand his mind about your own culture and only concentrate on his.
When I buy White beauty magazines, which is not that often, my fiance gets pissed. He says he's dating a Black woman and he wants to see magazines with beautiful BW laying around. He enjoys flipping through all the Black hairstyle magazines, Essence articles, etc.
You have to take this opportunity to show him you have no problems with who you are,(if that is in fact the case). When you talk about helping the Asian community, he's probably thinking about all the help your own communities need.
When you talk about adopting a Chinese baby... WHY? Do you know how many children from the Black community need adopting, right here, in your very own country? And honestly, I REALLY do not think it's RIGHT for you two to adopt either a Chinese or Black baby, unless you are going to adopt one of each.
You know Connie Chung and her White husband adopted a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, White baby. And, though I do not know the circumstances of their adoption and understand that every child deserves love, we cannot ignore the self-hatred that many minorities deal with, all while loving and marrying White mates.
You have consistently demonstrated that for some reason, you are willing to ignore the problems of your own race, and concentrate on those of his; that's what is so bothersome. Perhaps his parents think your total devotion to Chinese culture is quite lovely, but doesn't it kill a part of yourself? And if they cannot love and accept you for who you are, shouldn't that be their problem to deal with?
I commend you for not taking the typical American approach, that there is nothing to learn from any other country or culture, but I think you might have gone too far with all this, and from the sounds of it, so does your boyfriend. I encourage you to try to maintain a better balance of cultures. I think BOTH of you will feel much better that way :)
Sian BlasianLove@jazzandjava.com
Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 11:49:15 (PDT)
To: "perpetual bloom"
Thank you for your commentary. I too agree that too often people tend to express more anger here than they do love. And, unfortunately most of that love expressed is only "sex" ....however there is a difference. Yes, you are being a little bossy in your post, but I think that I can both understand and appreciate your point of view. One element of your views I just don't share, that being the telling of "others to go somewhere else". We must all remember that this is "still" an open forum for all to post their opinions whether we agree or disagre. If we don't look it as such then what's the whole purpose to this this process? Perhaps I'm wrong here, but I sense some anger in your words when you say, "remember that nubian queen stuff". So, I ask what's the difference from your (potentially negative) commentary and others? We all may have had some negative experiences in this life, and sometimes it comes out without us realizing it. Another point of concern for me personally is that you take issue with others points of views, but you're the only one using the the phrase "hating" in here. Sorry, but I just don't understand that!
Ray
Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 09:36:51 (PDT)
I think these petty little topics about whether'african american' or 'black' or 'oriental' or 'asian american' is acceptable or ot acceptable-
its getting old and boring. Who really CARES about all of THAT. Its just another attempt to argue about something. Once again...does anyone have anything positive to say about their interracial experiences or relationships? If you have something positive to input, please do so. I would like to get to know people that are in AM/BF relationships or are interested in this sort of couple. Come on everyone, lets stop all of these hostile pointless arguments. Its really unnecessary when you think about it. Unfortunately Black Women already have this stereotype of being argumentive and angry (even though we know that not all black women are this way, people associate all of us with it...even if an individual is not that type of person) Why play into this trap? That is what it is a trap. So just ignore the ones who want to stir up little arguments. I still think the ones who are doing it are personally against Asian men/Black women relationships, and have a motive. So ignore their game.
Can we please get back to the REAL topic and without arguing?
Wednesday, August 14, 2002 at 07:41:21 (PDT)
Perpetual bloom
You show me the rudeness in my post. I did not attack Ray, I told him the truth. People need to be responsible. You are not only rude but lack reading comprehension. You sound like you are very young.
Black bloom
Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 20:50:03 (PDT)
Very Interesting. I am an Afrian American female who has wanted to date Asian men. I must say I have caught a few looking, but none have made a move. If this poll is representative of the feeling shared by both I think more communication is necessary. Maybe you will see more couples if the men will ask for a date for starters.
Cup_of Fudge
Tuesday, August 13, 2002 at 19:24:47 (PDT)
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