Asian Male/Black Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ BLACK FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 04:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to African American females?
Their facial features | 36%
Their physique | 36%
Their attitude and personality | 27%
Their education & cultural values | 1%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with African American females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 2%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 7%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 67%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 24%

Assuming you are an African American female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 77%
Their physique | 4%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 4%

Assuming you are an African American female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 9%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 78%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 13%

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

I have been pretty bored lately. I have just gotten accepted to the university and finishing up stacks and stacks of paperwork and everything seems to be dragging on ever so slow. So I find myself in chatrooms from time to time. I met a nice guy in A-L.C the other day. He sent me his picture. I think hes really quite cute. I sent him a couple of pics of me and he liked them alot. He said that his ex was black and they were in a longterm relationship together. I was surprised. It was a coincidence, because I was in a longterm relationship with an asian man. Both of our relationships were about the same year span. Isn't that crazy? Its almost like karma! But, I won't dare go there...with all of the "Meant To Be" mumbo jumbo. Thats just a recipe for trouble! Anyways, now we are just getting to know each other over the computer, taking it very slow. I don't know if anything can really come from communicating over the computer. Can something like that possibly grow into more? If it does, then I will be pleasantly surprised. Right now its just alot of fun getting to know each other. There is no pressure in this and its exciting. There are actually some asian men that do find us to be beautiful. I guess not all of them are only interested in white women. Some of them actually have genuine interests in women of color.
{{{{cheerful sighs!!!}}}}
art & poetry Wednesday, October 09, 2002 at 07:55:11 (PDT) [205.188.209.112]

It kills me how AMs complain about how the media makes them look less attractive/manly than WMs & BMs. There are plenty of Black women that would date Asian men (despite these stereotypes), but they only wear WF glasses. No other females seem to exist in their world. I just want to know why. Maybe it's the media that's having an influence on them, ne? Perhaps they are dating them to gain social status (like many BMs). I don't understand how they could be so prejudice towards us.
Sammi Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 17:53:24 (PDT) [64.216.222.247]

Artemis,

Based on my own personal experiences, I'd say the cities that have large asian populations are Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York. The large cities on the east and west coasts tend to have a much higher concentration of asains that cities in the mid-west.

What city are you from? I'm in Portland, OR. There's quite a few asians here, but I wish is were more like Seattle. You know, lots more of everybody!
Max orgazmo83@hotmail.com Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 16:30:33 (PDT) [205.238.9.194]

Movie Star,
If it's all a matter of what's inside the person, why are Asian men so hell-bent of getting with White girls??? Go take a look at the AM in IR page. There's nothing but AMs talking about how much they love WFs. It's like a church of WF worshippers. And if they do date a BF, she's either of mixed race or she's light skinned! What's up with that?
I agree wtih "Open to Asian Love" when she said, "The Black female seems to be the least cherished and sought after female in the world". Is she lying? Look at this poll. It's almost ALL female with, like, one (maybe two if we're lucky) AMs that pop up every now and then.
What A Joke Monday, October 07, 2002 at 18:20:34 (PDT) [64.216.223.124]

I also believe it is the Asian man's blind infatuation with blonde white women that keeps Black as well as other ethnicites of women away; thinking that they don't have a chance or can't comepete.
browneyez Monday, October 07, 2002 at 12:22:39 (PDT) [66.42.63.104]

what cities have more AM? I live down south and I don't see many AM at all. I met two, and they were resteraunt chefs. Does anyone know where most of them are? I know its usually a thing with population. Like Chinatowns etc...
Artemis Monday, October 07, 2002 at 10:15:42 (PDT) [64.12.96.237]

I always thought that AM wouldn't be interested in BF. I just think that our cultures don't seem to tolerate BW and AM dating outside of their races as much as say BM or AW. It is seen more often so therefore "normal". But after reading the poll, I think I will be more likely to let my feelings be known.But please e-mail if there are any AM that are open-minded and wouldn't mind having a BW by their side.
Eboni zumyluvin@aol.com Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 01:17:01 (PDT) [68.2.23.164]

I'm am a AM currently in a long distance relationship with a BF. From my perspective, it's not about being with someone because he/she is asian, black or white. It's about being with someone for who they are REGARDLESS of their race. By "who they are", I mean their personality, goals, their ways of living, communicating, thinking. Because these are the things that impact a relationship in the long term, or these are the deciding factors in other words.
So don't let race (same or different from your own) prevent you from knowing someone for who they are. you just might miss out on your sole mate for life.

luv ya michele
movie star Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 19:33:32 (PDT) [66.31.179.119]

I was just curious, are there any Christian asian men in columbus, ohio who might be interested in dating women of color? Please write back.
f a ris frispress@yahoo.com Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 22:07:01 (PDT) [199.35.237.144]

Nfo,

You said:
"I'm tired of these posts saying that bm don't like to see bw with asian m."

I am sure many of us would like to stop having experiences where these black men we are coming into contact with are doing this to us. I would personally like to hear of a positive experience where the man was actually sincerely interested in the relationship, instead of cutting the woman down. There have been so many times I have told a black man that the man I am seeing is Asian and his head just jerked back. I wish that ONCE a black man would say something positive. I would GLADLY post my experience.

You also said:
"Personally, I think it's a good sign when people of color start choosing one another when they mix, rather than automatically choosing white."

I don't know. This had a bit of a derrogatory edge to it. For me, it is sending the message that we are intentionally seeking out other races. I KNOW I had NO intention of being with my man because he was Asian . . . or because he was NOT black. It was the same for him. We just had a lot in common and a lot not in common.

Finally, when you said:
"...So I'm encouraged when I see bf with asian m, rather than white guys & girls, and I am most definitely an AWARE BLACK MAN."

Okay, this statement, as an "aware black man", also seemed a little shady. As I have said in other places on this site, I personally don't care who dates who or even why. Your statement seems to indicate that you are okay with interracial relationships, as long as we are not choosing whites. In the end, what does it matter as long as the two people are in love? Why are we constantly being put in the position where we have to justify to the world why we are with this man or that man?

Oh, I forgot, I have visited the Asian women with Black men site. Actually, there have been just as many posts by black men about black women being rude.
There is no need to place the disclaimer: "As an aware & progressive black man . . ." Let the words speak for themselves, otherwise it takes the authenticity out of the statement.
Joy Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 19:40:47 (PDT) [218.44.178.57]

I didn't think that they found us attractive at all. But seeing this poll, let's me know that both sides have had misgivings and missed communications between each other I think that it is great knowing that they are no longer afraid to make it known that they like black women.
The black woman seems to be the least cherised and saute after female in the world. It is sad knowing that alot of black men prefer something other than their own. But that at the same time, they would rather see us alone, then with a man from any other ethnicity.
I live this in my own family. Brother married to Germany female, and then American White women. But if I date outside the race, he has a serious problem with that. Has six racially mixed children. But I am not suppose to find a man to love me.
I believe that this is an unfair way to treat black women, or any woman for that matter.
If I date and marry any one, it would and will always be because I love him.

Open to Asian Love Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 18:15:26 (PDT) [207.62.206.201]

Well, I feel that all races of people should be open to the idea of interracial love but you can't make the world see things the way that you do.

As for BM unable to fathom the idea of a BW dating an AM? Well, I find it to be true in some cases. At one time I had dated nothing but BM but mostly. But majority of those relationships ened up in a pretty bad situation and in the end, I was the one that got hurt. I met an AM through a mutual friend of ours and things hooked up from there on. We have been together for 4 years, the longest relationship that I have ever been in for my whole life and things are getting better for us each day.

I recently saw my ex 2 days ago and he was furious that my man was an AM. He started talking crap and saying things like "BW always got to have either a White Man or an Asian Man, why can't they stick with the brothas". Agressivly spoken from a man that I found cheating on me with a White woman in our bed when we were supposed to be an item at that time.

But over all, I love my AM and we are going to give this relationship all that we have. I have realized that there is good and bad in every race. But I'm happy with my man!
Jasmine Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 12:00:16 (PDT) [64.132.218.93]

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