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WHAT MEN WANT ON A FIRST DATE
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:19:41 PM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are a man, which most closely matches your idea of a great first date?
Coffee and Conversation | 45%
Picnic in the Country | 7%
Brunch and Tennis | 2%
Dinner and Movie | 46%

Assuming you are a man, which gesture by your date would you most welcome?
Wears something extra nice | 39%
Arrives precisely on time | 9%
Compliments your appearance | 1%
Invites you up for coffee | 51%

Assuming you are a man, what's the worst mistake a girl can make on a first date?
Showing up late | 10%
Showing up badly dressed/groomed | 81%
Hogging the conversation | 4%
Brushing off your sexual advance | 5%


This poll is closed to new input.
Comments posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Arwen,

A lot of time in life one will need to experience suffering and pain. The only benefit of someone older giving you advise is that they can forewarn you when you will experience the suffering and pain. Or how long you will be experience the suffering and pain. Rarely can advise take away suffering and pain. Unless it is advise to take a over the counter pain killer.

Sometimes solutions and answers you are probably looking for are all within. You just need some more time to become self aware and mental tools to pick away at yourself.

The mall thing is probably nothing.
Unless you notice the face at the mall is same face in a car park in front of your home with a camera, then you stay alert.

It's like a crowded elevator. It is rude to stare so people, you face the door stare at the blinking numbers. But every now and then someone takes their eyes off the blinking numbers.

If you want to make people uncortable in a crowded elevator, you stand at the doors and face the back of the elevator. It really about a subscious flinch from eye contact and possible confrontation.

The guy at school seems to be interested in you.

Depending on his sophistication he is trying (consciously or unconsciously) something called kinetics on you, or shorthand "kino" among players. The point is to ground a positive feeling within the target (you) to something about him. This way he can try to evoke a positive emotion just by doing something around you (i.e. petting you hair, etc.). But if it is making you annoyed, he has failed miserably.

To get respect from the guy, just ask him very nicely and firmly that he stop doing whatever he is doing which you don't like.

Due to the way I requested the company set up my email account. All unknown from addresses are all deleted from my inbox automatically at the server level. It would be easier if you left your email address and I will contact you and inform my tech support to include you in the rules.
AC Dropout    Wednesday, March 20, 2002 at 12:04:48 (PST)
AC Dropout,

Well, thank you (for your comment that I'm not immature). It does sound strange, but I feel that writing on this board is sometimes easier than talking with my friends. There's nothing wrong with them, of course, it's just they are experiencing the same things, so they can't really explain to me any better than to themselves.

Experience. Some people say that there are certian things that you have to learn by the hard way. And others, just by listening to other people. So far, most of my "experiences" are things I have to go through, suffer, and learn. It seems that the friends I pick (with "friends" defined as people who I can really talk to and not be afraid if they're going to tell on me) are people who experience similar problems as me. That's why we can relate to one another. But I only have 4 of them in my school, with another one from my old school, and the rest of the people are more like "acquaintances." They cannot always solve my problems, because often times, they are struggling with the same things. So, it makes me wonder...where do I turn to? My family? They either overeact, or just don't understand. Myself?...how am to answer my own questions if I don't even truly know who I am? God?...I have done this many times, and this has made me feel better and secure enough to go to sleep.

Sometimes I receive an uncomfortable feeling that guys (strangers) in the mall/store look at me. There's nothing wrong with "looking," but it's just the "way" they look at me. Sometimes it's the same with girls too. It's not a "weird" look, or at least I don't think so. There are times when similar things happen to me at school, like this guy who just ran through my hair and asked why they are curly. A while after that, he lifted my short-sleeve on my shoulder, because there're ties there. And later, offered to tie them when the ties go loose. He does these out of nowhere and I don't know if he is being rude and just have no respect for me, or something else. I've had classes with him before, and he never seemed to like me. In fact, he even made fun of me once (after I didn't say "hi" back). It's frustrating sometimes because I feel like some people just don't have any respect for me. How do I earn respect?

A dream journal is a good idea. More times than not I forgot the dreams before I have a chance of jotting them down. Have you read in your dreams anything premonitional or "true?" I know this sounds really ridiculous, but my friends and I have considered calling a psychic. So when she turns 18 our senior year, we'd call. But I'm not so sure now. =o)

I feel strange spilling my deepest thoughts on this board. It seems we're the only two communicating back and forth. Can you post your e-mail address and I'll e-mail you? (which will have a return e-mail address) ---if it's convenient with you.

I have written too much again. Have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Arwen    Tuesday, March 19, 2002 at 16:21:36 (PST)

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