ATTITUDE TOWARD F.O.B.S
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian American, what's your definition of an F.O.B. ("Fresh-off-the-boat" immigrant)?
Anyone not born in the U.S. | 31%
Anyone who speaks with a noticeable accent | 30%
Anyone who acts or dresses old-country | 39%

Assuming you are an Asian American, what's your attitude toward F.O.B.s?
I am fully open to friendships/relationships with them. | 44%
I am friendly but would not want to get too close. | 41%
I generally avoid them on a social level. | 15%

Assuming you are an Asian American, what do you find most annoying about F.O.B.s?
They play into offensive stereotypes. | 15%
They are obsessed with flashy materialism. | 39%
They maintain Asian customs and values. | 0%
They are no more annoying than other AA. | 46%
Hmmm.. I see prejudice and discrimination from my in-laws toward other Chinese. They are FOP Hong Kong born and truthfully have alot in common with certain "stereotypes" that people have posted here.
They do own the most expensive cars They do like to show-off in a very flashy , materialistic sort of way.
They do talk extremely loud,brag ALOT and when my husbands' aunt returns from her trips to HK, she invites all of the family and friends with the sole reason so she can show off her new large diamond ring.
They do not associate with any Americans, rarely speak English, and maintain the opinion that any Chinese that is not Cantonese or HK are "made in China" and are somehow beneath them.
My husband, who did most of his growing up here in America, and I as a native white American, do not share these riduculous and snobby opinions. We eat at many different styles of Chinese restaurants and other nationalities also. We have friends from Taiwain, China, Spain, and America. My husband speaks in English to Americans or ABC's that do not speak Chinese. And we do not discriminate on someone's income level, whether they are "worthy" of our friendship.
My in-laws also segregate themselves, only eat Chinese food, only watch Chinese cable, and never go anyplace unless it is Cantonese related. They even refused to "approve" my sister-in-law's choice for a wedding reception, because it would be at a American restuarant instead of Chinese.
I am told that HK girls are better and "prettier" than American girls. I am told that HK clothes are better. That HK everything is better. I really want to ask her why she became a citizen if everything is better there! If my looks or clothes are complimented by another Chinese person in a restaurant when we are all out, my mother-in-law looks annoyed beneath her little smile. I also think my in-laws are ridiculous when they return from a trip with a bunch of knock-off fake Luis Vitton wallets and brag about the deal they get from buying from mainland China

It is bad enough that we in America exploit these things with buying goods that are made by virtual slaves.
So that is just my observation. Not meant to offend, and I am not saying that all FOP or HK people are like this. Only that from my experience with my in-laws, that they are like what some posters here said before.

Hannybunbun    Wednesday, March 13, 2002 at 07:29:37 (PST)
I often contemplate about my ethno-cultural identity. While existence is identity, consciousness is identification. By stringent definition, I am neither FOP or USBC. I am an American by citizenship, and for the past 13 years, I have mutated, consciously or unconciously by a torrent of events and the surrounding milieu. I was a FOP, and I could never be USBC, where do I fit in? Regardless of what I feel about myself, people would try to label me differently. I surmise that many out there feel the same way. It is rather mawkish, if not pathetic, to wonder about the full embrace from my fellow Asians, FOP or USBC . I wish people can be more open-minded about the disparateness.
Kipper 330    Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 12:06:28 (PST)
FOP (A HK Born Chinese),

I see it on both ends. Because I mingle with both USBC and FOP, both groups misunderstand each other, because of linguistic and cultural isolation from on another.

In NYC, I would notice none of my USBC friends would KTV. And none of my FOP friends would go bar hopping.

If you see asians on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being USBC and 10 being FOP. It is usually 1's and the 10's that misunderstand each other to most. Most immigrants and american born asian fall somewhere about 4,5,6 on the scale and usually are pretty understanding of each side.
AC Dropout    Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 11:11:10 (PST)
Angelique,

You will meet a lot of what I termed "soul searching" Asians in college and throughout life. Usually, a asian born here, forgotten their native tongue, etc. I feel for them also, but I also try to avoid them when they are in "soul searching" mode, once they are comfortable with their own skin is it easier to deal with them socially.
AC Dropout    Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 11:04:58 (PST)
To Angelique,

I know what you mean. I am an American-born Cantonese who was instilled with a sense of cultural pride by my mother, so much that I am now planning to become a Sinologist.

I personally find many of my fellow ABCs to be quite whiny about identity issues, which is I prefer literature written in Asia as opposed to Asian-American literature.

I feel that it is understandable if an ABC is not fluent in Chinese or if their thinking is American. After all, they grew up here and, so both of those characteristics are inevitable, with absorption of American values being admirable to some extent. What I cannot stand, however, are ABCs who give a hard time to anyone who tries to learn Chinese or who associates with Chinese immigrants. It's understandable if Chinese immigrants and their language seem foreign to you, but to regard both of them like the plague is unforgivable.

In addition to learning Chinese history and being fluent in Cantonese, I am also mastering Mandarin, with a partiality towards Beijinghua. I wish that ABCs would just reconcile their identities and get it other with. I have long reconciled both of my sides and determined that my values are American with a Chinese twist. The makeup of my friends reflect this. About half of my friends are immigrants from China and Taiwan, the other half are cultured ABCs with a sense of pride and a genuine desire to obtain a decently deep understanding of Chinese culture (Yes, those type of ABCs do exist!) Angelique, I can empathize with your frustration with ABCs and
understand what great friends FOBs make; however, I sincerely urge you to try not give up on us, no matter how much we may make you gnash your teeth.

You can say that you belong to both worlds, or that you belong to neither one. Being Chinese-American is a double-edged sword. It depends on how you handle it.

Feel free to respond to me.
Future Sinologist Lcc205@aol.com    Tuesday, March 12, 2002 at 09:40:20 (PST)

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