VIETNAMESE MALE/ VIETNAMESE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are a male of Vietnamese ancestry, which of the following most attracts you to females of Vietnamese ancestry?
Their facial features | 69%
Their physique | 8%
Their attitude and personality | 16%
Their education & cultural values | 7%

Assuming you are a male of Vietnamese ancestry, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with females of Vietnamese ancestry?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 34%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 60%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 5% 		Assuming you are a female of Vietnamese ancestry, which of the following most attracts you to males of Vietnamese ancestry?
Their facial features | 71%
Their physique | 5%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are a female of Vietnamese ancestry, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with males of Vietnamese ancestry?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 31%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 4%

Thanks for everyone's input. I don't know if the mother is Hue or not. Oh, I just remembered--the girl who is supposed to date a doctor is in medical school herself.
Curious buddy    Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 11:37:54 (PDT)
amenyes,

I totally agree. Lots of Vietnamese families brag and boast so much about their kids achievements' in medecine such as dentistry or pharmacy.

I personally know one family. Their son graduated from dental school, and all of a sudden, the mom thinks that she obtains a degree in bragging. It's sickening.

His mom thinks that she has all of the bragging rights in the world. She used to tell me that money changes people, and people like that are those to watch out for. How hypocritical is that?

So, her son was pressured to dump his girlfriend afterwards, and was forced to look for a girl w/a medical degree.

So to: Curious Buddy:

To answer your question, it's true; dating doctors & being a doctor is the general rule for spousal preference (at least for majority of the Viet people: mostly Bac & Hue though).

Is that girl's mom Hue by any chance?
Re    Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 17:17:53 (PDT)
Generalizations aside, you are correct! There is not nearly as much pressure on American women to date and/or marry according to their family members wishes. It sounds as though the mother is from the insecure sector of the “old school.” To the credit of most Viet families, they are open and practical. However, they do have high expectations that their offspring achieve, although most don’t expect doctors to sweep their daughters off their feet. Just so it’s gender equitable, Viet men and their families also expect that girlfriends/potential wives have something going for them, business, education, etc. Plain and simple, no one wants their children to marry bums.

Is this mother expecting her daughter to marry a Viet or American doctor? Or just a doctor? There aren’t many Viet doctors in the U.S. Guaranteed, the relatively few Viet doctor won’t be single for long if people like your friend’s mother continue to have this level of influence. Another thing, Viets tend to look down on other Viets who overtly brag and boast about their achievements, possessions, and who are OBVIOUSLY preoccupied with their children acquiring status through marriage. It’s all in the approach, and most Viets have mastered the craft of being classy and discreet about expecting their offspring to marry a desirable mate. The ones who don’t will to bring negative attention and criticism from their community.
amenyes    Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 03:19:29 (PDT)

One of my male Viet friends is currently dating a Viet woman, but he says he's unsure how serious it's going to get. He says he likes her a lot, and that she's very nice, and she likes him, but her mother wants her to date a doctor. He said that her mother doesn't like him because she doesn't think he is high class enough (even though he's a successful computer programmer, and definately is a good catch). He says that she's traditional and strict, and sets her daughter up with friends' sons who are in medical school. He asked me (I'm female) whether or not I would consider dating someone that my mother didn't like, and I said that I would. I wouldn't let that deter me from being with who I like. But I don't know how strict Viet parents are about that? Is it considered a big mistake to go against your parents wishes? I know all situations are different, but is it true that American women are more independent with regards to this?
Curious buddy    Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:21:34 (PDT)
first off i aint viet - i'm 1/2 jap 1/2 jew - neways, 2 of my best friends are viets, and they are both beautiful and smart - jus thought i would enlighten yous wit my views
p'z im out, now follow me as i bounce...
aZn_pRiDe    Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:18:42 (PDT)
v & Asian Babe

I'm in complete agreement with both your thoughts. So funny but so true! :)

Hmmmmm...now that you mention it...a handsome young guy (19 or 20) does sound quite yummy! hahaha!

...I'm just joking. Just Joking!
MLK    Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 00:14:29 (PDT)

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