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POLL & COMMENTS
ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM
to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)
This poll is closed to new input.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
There are Asian men all over my university... many of them are quite nice looking. Now, if only I could gather the courage to talk to them...
Lulu
Tuesday, February 26, 2002 at 03:47:49 (PST)
Southern White Girl: Great postings, you’ve obviously got an awful lot of insight about the WF/AM relationship… This board was getting a bit off-track for a while so it was good to hear from you! Congrats on seven years of marriage and ignoring all the conventions about whom you should marry. I’m glad that your family is just as open-minded as you are but I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s funny that you mention that other American males (WMs?) find your husband arrogant, I do believe that US society has such a strong impression about how an AM should behave so it’s cool to know that he’s rocking the boat and speaking his mind. Out of curiosity, how exactly did you two meet and out of curiosity, what other issues have you run into while dating and being married to your husband? I’m sure you’ve got a lot of stories!
Ronbo (Bay Area) howudoinsf@hotmail.com
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 23:18:23 (PST)
Just brainstorming, but I think good places for Asian men to meet white women might be at church (there are some closed-minded people here but I think they tend to be closed-minded about things other than race and at least try to be more accepting of other cultures), at bookstores and libraries (educated women would tend to be more open-minded), by volunteering at pet shelters (good place to find sweet white girls who are probably open minded--you can volunteer to walk dogs and they will think you are a god), in university towns and at lectures (try lectures on Asia), at arts events and museums, in yoga classes (or other classes--a Chinese cooking class would be great--and you'd know she could cook good food--of course you have to explain why you're in the class--"I love to eat so I figured I'd better learn how to cook" should suffice!), and at dog parks (someone told me dog parks are the biggest pickup spots in CA--women love guys who have dogs because it shows they are caring, responsible and would make good fathers and it's easy to start a conversation over her dog).
Ironically though, I met my husband at a night club in China (long story--I always thought I'd meet my husband in a library, although it did help that I stood out as a nice girl in a crowd of wild women) so you never know...
Southern White Girl yinyang@cox.net
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 21:44:30 (PST)
"The man I will one day marry and have a family with will be white like myself, but while I'm still single I'm going to party as much as I can with no strings attached and have a sexual weakness for asian men.
Elaine"
Elaine,
Assuming you are real, I am amazed that you plan to marry a white guy even though you are attracted to Asians sexually, and are actively pursuing them.
Do you think you really will be happy marrying a WM when everytime he has sex with you you will secretly be fantasizing about an AM? I think that is a recipe for disaster and divorce.
The same applies to AM who are attracted to WF. I gave up dating AF and started dating WF exclusively when I realized I would never really be completely happy if I married an AF.
BTW, unlike some of the others here, I don't think there is anything wrong with you having sex with AM with no long term interest. I enjoyed my short term relationships with WF. I think I would have milked those relationships more for the sexual aspects if I had understood sooner that that is all it was. I have also been on the other side where the WF wanted to marry me and I didn't.
Funny how when a guy is promiscuous he is called a stud while a woman is called a slut.
Tanman
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 21:17:27 (PST)
Marius,
'i went to Australia and i was sitting at a cafe with two friends and one of my friends must have been looking at this other table and a white guy from another table picked up our table and tipped it over and said "WHAT THE F@#K ARE YOU STARING AT GOOK"'
I'm surprised at this. I am of full Chinese descent, and have lived in Australia all of my life (30 odd years), and have NEVER come across an incident like this. Of course I've had the odd verbal stoush, but you give back as good as you take. I agree that racism exists in Australia, but no more than any other white majority nation. I think the UK is more racist, I have never heard of a race riot in Australia. Imyself experienced more racism in European countries. I have never been to the US, so iI can't comment.
'White Australia Policy dissallowing asians or blacks in the country and kicking out any asians that were already residing or were born there.'
Definitely admit that the White Australia Policy was deplorable, however it is incorrect that Asians residing here were kicked out. My family has been here for four generations on my mother's side, and many of my Chinese friends' and relatives' families were in Australia while this was being implemented, and they're still here.
Certainly, racism exists here, but I can't name a coutry where it doesn't, even New Zealand. I vaguely remember a while back that the Prime Minister had a problem with Chinese business owners.
Chinese Aussie Male dagspongrass@ozemail.com.au
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 19:58:04 (PST)
I went down to Australia about 5 years ago. My experience of it was completely different from what your describing. I spent most of my time in Sydney. I guess it was the area that I was in but the whites that I met there were very nice. I even got a free breakfast because I didn't have enough Australian currency and the only thing that I had were US bills. I received a warm "hello" or "good morning" from people that I've never met before. One guy was gave me a light when I was trying to find my matches for my cigarette. I guess it depends on who you meet so I guess I got lucky and met the right people.
AM from CA
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 19:57:48 (PST)
Although I have never been to Australia from what I've seen and read Aussies are hardy brash backward people. Their culture lacks all sophistication and actually their livehood depends on East Asia. Australia is actually becoming a dumping grounds for old retirees from Korea, Japan and Taiwan. Maybe they are just pissed off because they have to take orders from old farts all day.
Anyway Australia is insignificant country. They'll continue to kiss Asia's ass.
Aussies are insignificant
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 18:07:24 (PST)
Elaine
You got it all wrong, you meant to say "no asian American guys are interested in marrying you, right?"
We have classsssssss, they all figured you're only good for a quicky.
Slam, Bam, Thank you ma'am..haha
take a number
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 17:58:38 (PST)
southern white girl:
Thanks for the encouragement, I have talked to many white females and they all said that their perceptions of Asian men has been one of passive and quiet, they are surprised about how outgoing I am. Does anyone else on the board get similar comments or thoughts?
Asian Sting
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 16:38:37 (PST)
I think that Australia is getting a bad rap, I am a ABC (American Born chinese/taiwanese) and I lived in Austalia for several months I had no problems, of course I was in Canberra and Sydney, my neighbors in Canberra who were australian and in their 60's, I am in my 20's , send me postcards to this day, asking how i am, and are the nicest people. I met some nice Aussie girls too. Ignorant people are everywhere, in Missippi and Lousiana I saw so many signs for clan rallys, and bumper stickers that said "don't buy crap, don't buy from a jap", in Detroit a car of whites yelled "f*** you slant eye job stealer", and threw beer bottle at me, so its all relative i think. Just my thoughts...peace
Asian Sting
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 16:33:32 (PST)
NonExisted
I hope you have a nice life too sweetie.
I'm sorry everyone I can't respond to any more messages, there's just too many.
Elaine
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:47:34 (PST)
Aggressive AM
I'm well rounded from my chest to my hips. I'm educated and I'm open minded enough to date sexy Asian men. So we agree on some of the same things. I never said that the only good people are white people. What's wrong with being proud of instead of ashamed of who I am? Here at Goldsea I see orientals saying they're better than blacks and mexicans. I see japanese saying they're better than koreans. They have said that they are better than others. I've never said that. I also don't believe that whites are using polls to conspire against Asians. That is so far fetched.
Elaine
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:45:48 (PST)
LordT
No. They're not but who knows maybe tomorrow or next year or the year after that I may change my mind. But at the moment, No.
Elaine
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:36:33 (PST)
Curiousity
Hi. One tip is that Asian men don't get the chance to act macho much in American society so if you stroke their egos in that area, you will have them eating out of your hands. Also, they love oral and if you find an oriental that is not too eager in the bedroom, they can go for it for a long time. The negative side would be their mothers. Asian mothers are very critical of the women their sons date.
Elaine
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:34:27 (PST)
Asian Sting
What's wrong with being a toy? A very satisfied toy. I'm just joking. I'm upfront with my lovers and they understand. If they didn't they wouldn't be with me. Right?
Elaine
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:31:16 (PST)
B. Lee
Sweetie I'm all real. I'm also a girl who just want to have her cake and eat it too!
Elaine
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:29:18 (PST)
A White Female
Thank you for your concern. I'm very careful with my sexual partners. I'm not a bed hopper I'm a one man girl. One man at a time however long or short we date. I don't understand why it's so wrong for me to want to marry my own kind one day. It's more normal to marry within your race than outside of your race. I love the beauty of Asian men but I also love the beauty of little blonde babies too!
Elaine
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:28:20 (PST)
Asian American Male
How can you, an Asian, be such an expert on the treatment of white men to black women? Take it elsewhere sweetie. White men treat black women just fine. Also, I won't be the first and I won't be the last person who enjoy sexual adventures and experimentation. Why would you call Asian men who dream of sleeping with a pretty white female like myself a sell out with low self esteem? If you knew me, I would have you following me around like a puppy within 24 hours because my sexuality is very intoxicating. Just talking to you is turning me on so I know what it must be doing to you.
Elaine
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:24:47 (PST)
Australians are the decendents of convicts so that explains them today.
So, Marius after that asshole tipped your table over and called your friend a gook, did you team up and kick his ass?
I hope you kicked his ass!
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 14:14:06 (PST)
Asian American Male,
Forsyth County is not so rednick-ish anymore, or at least it's changing.
I live FIVE minutes away from Forsyth County, in Alpharetta, North Fulton County which is about an hour away north from Atlanta. People keep on moving north and all the rednecks/KKK people have fled. I'm thinking in another 20-50 years, Forsyth County will be a good place to live.
There are A LOT of Asians here, at least 20% of the population, and I don't face outright, violent racism at all.
But it wouldn't be a good idea to live in Forsyth County next to tractor trailer trash as of NOW. Because about 2 years ago, some black dude got lynched.
jjk
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 12:41:57 (PST)
southern white girl,
"...one Asian American guy I dated broke off the relationship because he was afraid I wouldn't fit into his culture even though I studied Asian culture and speak Chinese..."
You do not have to learn about Asian culture or speak an Asian language to date Asian guys. Honestly, I'd prefer a girl who isn't so conscious about race. I think being over conscious about race when dating interracially makes things uncomfortable for both. Just my thought. I'd be very surprised to find a white girl who knows a lot about the Asian culture, but it wouldn't pull me in any closer than if you knew nothing about it.
jjk
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 12:35:30 (PST)
"hrmm we have clasifying the Australian aboriginies in the Australian department of Animals Flaura and Fauna,
shooting the Tasmanian aboriginies like rabbits therefore making the tasmanian aboriginie extinct by 1960 (tasmanian aboriginies were very different to mainland aboriginies)."
White southerners here in the US did the same thing to the American Indians. Custer and company slaughtered Indians in Montana as well. The white southerners, in addition, lynched a lot of blacks until the 1930s. In fact, the constitution of Alabama which they are trying to change still allows lynching of black people...so what is new?
"White Australia Policy dissallowing asians or blacks in the country and kicking out any asians that were already residing or were born there."
Not true. It originated in the US. Blacks were never granted full citizenship in the Southern US until 1965. Asians were not allowed to become US citizens until 1952. The Hapa kids were non-entities until the mid 1950s and were not eligible for US passports. Asians were not allowed to marry whites in many states until 1967 and if you are an Asian male you will get into very serious trouble for even looking at a white female...you still will, if you live in parts of the rural south. As I told you try sitting near a white female in a church in Cumming, Georgia.
In short, the US was the leader..Australia simply followed. Many parts of the US have changed, but backwardness and racism remains, especially in the US South. Read the artilce by Diane Roberts in the NY Times Op Ed piece on Alabama (Feb 25, 2002). I do not believe you have anything like that in th good old Down Under.
Asian American Male
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 09:20:50 (PST)
"It seems that they always say that over 50% of marriages don't last, but the majority of those marriages are between whites."
True. Same race marriages tend to break up faster than different race marriages because the latter are held up to higher standards and closer scrutiny.
Asian American Male
Monday, February 25, 2002 at 09:11:06 (PST)
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