Asian Male/White Female Relationships | Asian American Poll

ASIAN MALE/ WHITE FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:39:10 AM to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most attracts you to White females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 23%
Their attitude and personality | 12%
Their education & cultural values | 3%

Assuming you are an Asian male, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with White females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 0%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 12%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 72%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 16%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most attracts you to Asian males?
Their facial features | 74%
Their physique | 7%
Their attitude and personality | 14%
Their education & cultural values | 5%

Assuming you are a White female, which of the following most dissuades you from relations with Asian males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 8%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 72%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 19%

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]

My extensive travels also included getting to know Asian men well. Like Elaine, they are like bees around a honeypot to me. I still have my book with details of all my conquests - making love comes sooooo natural to AM.

Girlie Love Friday, March 01, 2002 at 08:26:12 (PST)

It is so sad to see all the Asian men attacking Elaine. A white girl like Elaine took my virginity when I was younger. I believe I really needed it because I began to have some kind of confidence. She was a beauty, man. It is sad that I am still in love with her in some way. What I am trying to say is that we need some party girl like Elaine in our life. This is something I do not like about being Asian. We need to learn to have more fun in our life. All the comments you guys are giving are so "dorky" to me. Bye, and have a fun life. Think positive!!
LA CUTE BOY Friday, March 01, 2002 at 03:07:59 (PST)

Just one more thing. I'm not saying you should just ask a girl out and see if she's open to dating you, but paying attention to other clues might help you know if she'd be independent enough to handle any pressure down the road.
Southern White Girl Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 18:41:46 (PST)

I was reading what "Happy Clam" wrote a while back:

"I recollect as a young teen being somewhat unable to relate to my other female friend's views on beauty and desirability and sexuality. It seems they bought so heavily into any and all media generated...concepts of beauty. They felt the need to follow every trend and fad with a kind of insecurity and frantic quality. ...No sense of self seems to exist among these young women wearing their clothes and hairstyles with a degree of insecurity so palpable it makes them unattractive."

Just wanted to say I totally agree with her and felt the same way growing up. Think my mom probably influenced me a lot in this area. She used to tell me "buy what looks good on you, not just what's in fashion" and she was a model for a little while so I figured she knew what she was talking about. She also taught me to be independent and open-minded in many other ways, so maybe it was a package deal. So, I was thinking it might be helpful some of you AM to figure out which WF might be open to dating you by observing how much a particular girl shows independence in visible ways. I have a friend who always follows fashion and tries a little too hard to be "hip" and "cool" and she always seems a little surprised that others sometimes I'm cool even though I don't follow all the "rules." I just want to shake her and tell you'll look so much cooler if you stop trying. I'm not saying a girl who happens to dress fashionably wouldn't be open to dating you, just perhaps those who consistently let others tell them how to dress AND think. After all, I think I myself have become more "fashionable" now that I live in a bigger city, but it's because I have access to more clothing and more $ to buy what I want, not because I'm letting others tell me what to buy. So, Someone who says "Oh, that is so out, how can you wear that?" even though it looks good on you would probably be someone to stay away from (unless they're joking of course). Just a thought.
Southern White Girl Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 18:36:39 (PST)

Hi Ronbo:

I sent one response directly to your email about how I met my hubby--didn't want to totally bore everyone here :-)

Re. other issues we've had to deal with, I'd have to say most issues have to do with personality or perhaps gender, and some with my "dysfunctional" family :-) I don't think we really faced any cultural differences until my mother-in-law lived with us and even some of that was probably personality.

I guess we have similar life philosophies, goals and strangely, even backgrounds so I suppose it really does boil down to how two individuals relate to each other in the end. It wasn't necessarily that my husband had a thing for white women and me for Asian men, but that we were both open to each other's culture and happened to connect in many ways (including a physical attraction).

I think my husband wasn't the typical Asian man in many ways and I wasn't the typical American girl in many ways (at least, we didn't really fit the stereotypes I guess) so maybe that helped us or maybe it just made us more open to each other or more willing to step outside our cultural safety nets.

I'll try to think of some things we've dealt with that might help some of you out there, but right now I can't think of specific things that were different from what most couples go through. I guess that's a good thing.

Southern White Girl Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 18:09:38 (PST)

"What makes you think there are no male sluts? One of the biggest turn-offs for me is a guy who has slept around a lot. Sleeping with someone is like giving a part of your soul - for me, it's important to choose wisely.
Rice Cooker"

Rice Cooker
Sex is like any other activity. The more you do it the better you get. No one is born with the ability to be a great lover, this is something that is learnt. Although frequent sex is one person can improve your skill, variety is necessary to get really good.

What is a turnoff are guys/girls who brag about sleeping around and don't use the experiences to get better but simply to add another point on their scoreboard.

Tanman Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 17:59:41 (PST)

Hi Gary,

Thanks for your nice response. I think I did post something about how I met my husband but it was a LONG time ago and I never really checked back. You either have an incredible memory or I'm the only nut with a story like that.

I think you're pretty cool yourself, and I you've hit on something very important--in the end people are individuals.
Southern White Girl Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 11:03:10 (PST)

Asian American Male

'To this day, I have not slept around with anyone other than my wife. I personally do not care much for white women, just because they have attitude like you.'

Please do not generalize all white girls as falling into the 'Elaine' category. Some of us were raised with manners and class - the same as SOME Asian females.
If you are married to an Asian girl - why are you on a WF/AM forum anyway?

Rice Cooker Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 09:29:49 (PST)

Elaine,
Quit with the fu***in "oriental" bit, neh? Makes one wonder at the accuracy of the postings if one is not politically or culturally correct in one's lingo, dig, chick-a-dee??
As a non-asian female, you embarass me...why would you want to marry a white boy anyway? My personal mantra at this time is..."no 'mo white boys for this girl..."
heartbroken in LA
heartbroken in LA emptymeyer@earthlink.net Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 17:37:12 (PST)

I think it's great that white women can find asian men attractive and vice versa.
softballteam Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 16:23:00 (PST)

Southern White Girl,

So I guess your study of Asia was genuine, not fake. I'm glad you told us that you didn't study about Asia (or pretend to) just to have a better chance w/ Asian guys. I just didn't want WFs reading your post to think that they have no chance whatsoever w/ Asian guys unless they know something about us.

It is true that I have never met any white girls who know a lot about Asian culture. They are very rare. I'd be very intrigued to meet such a person, but then like I said, I wouldn't necessarily be more attracted.

Although I'm Asian, I'm someone whom you'd call "white-washed," so I'd actually feel uncomfortable/scary marrying a white girl who tries to do everything more Asian than me (if I was Chinese, I'd be freaked out to marry a white girl who speaks better Chinese). I'd like to have a nice blend in the family if I marry a white girl. Not too white, not too Asian, but American. :) Ciao.
jjk Wednesday, February 27, 2002 at 14:17:06 (PST)

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