Asian Men and White Women: Missed Signals
By wchung | 21 Mar, 2026

Some Asian guys are too busy believing stereotypes to notice the interest from white girls.

The rap about us Asian guys is that white chicks don’t dig us. I don’t know the joker who started that myth, but I can tell you it wasn’t a white girl! There are a lot of white ladies out there waiting for you to make a move, any move!

“What does it take to get an Asian guy to ask you out,” an annoyed blonde recently snapped at me. “I’ve been eyeing this cutie in my department for months and the most he’s done is let me catch him looking at me. Is there some Asian taboo about dating white women, like “Once you go white you cant go back kind of thing?”

That’s about the 20th time I’ve heard this complaint from a white girl. I guess I look like the Asian male complaint department around here. I am catching flack because some of you guys can’t walk and chew gum at the same time!

Well, Ladies, you have the bad luck of having the hots for waiters. No, not the guys serving the moo shoo vegetables at the Jade Garden. I’m talking the guy who’s WAIT-ing for the girl to make the first move. I know you don’t do that but some guys just don’t get it. Since you’re asking for Uncle Fat’s sagacity, here’s what you do.

First off, with waiters you can forget about the eye-contact-and-smile. Waste of energy. Those guys think all white girls are just friendly to everyone. The best approach is to get into a casual conversation with the clueless Asian dude. It can be about anything — the copier, the elevator, the boss’s weird new tie. Once you’ve established verbal communication steer the conversation toward the subject of food or drink. From there it isn’t a stretch to express your love of boba, kalbi, pho, shaved ice, Japanese-style curry, or anything linked to an Asian eatery or cafe. That will start the light bulbs lighting up in even the heads of the most clueless Asian guys. If it doesn’t, he’s either hopeless or just isn’t interested.

By now a lot of you guys are probably starting to kick yourselves remembering all those girls who kept telling you how much they love sushi or tofu hotpots or saag paneer. It isn’t too late to start keeping those eyes and years open for the kinds of cues that proper ladies feel comfortable giving.

Oh, and another question I get a lot: do Asian guys put out on the first date? That’s a subject for another post!